Pashnit Motorcycle Forum

CA Moto Roads Get your Pashnit PASHNIT
Go Back   Pashnit Motorcycle Forum > The Wonderful World of Pashnit > Pashnit Humor

Notices

Tours

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-09-2006, 10:00 PM   #1
CaddmannQ
Moto-nerd
 
CaddmannQ's Avatar
 
Name: Greg

Location:
  Clovis, CA

Motorcycle:
  Nomad 1500

Join Date: May 2006

Posts: 265
What Does This Signal Mean?



(I promissed to re-post this story. Though it's been all over the web, it bears repeating because it's one of the best. Also, because I own one of those helmets.

It's for sale BTW....Cadd)


Adrenalin:

What Colour Is It Anyway?

Was posted on the Harley Digest by Andrzej Taramina from a friend of his in Oz.

Some of us wear BMW style two piece "open chin" helmets - you know the type - where the lower chin piece can be opened by pressing two thumb locks. Some people have also fitted their bikes with electronic cruise control or a version which operates on friction on the throttle - either way they hold the speed of the bike reasonably constant without any input from one's throttle hand. We also all wear gloves, which invariably fasten around the wrist with either a velcro flap or a press stud; some of the more expensive types have a zip fastener as well, among other features.

Picture if you will, one lone BMW rider with an opening chin helmet and a pair of good quality velcro fastened gloves sailing along the Hume Highway at 115 kph (that's all I'll admit to!!) dialled in on the electronic cruise control. Weather is good, no cars in the immediate vicinity, scenery is boring, no cops, life is good!! Junction of highway with Albury/Wodonga Road about 5 km away, no need to slow down yet; bike is running beautifully!! Looking forward to lunch.

Bugger! Is that a bee that just got into my helmet through the small gap I've left for some fresh air? Could be. Well, I'll just open my helmet visor to let him out. Visor up ... no, the little bugger is going to be stubborn, cantankerous even! He's not going to leave and is now behind my sunnies, must be tired from all that pollen hunting. Don't want to be stung on the eyelid -- I'll just open the chin piece on my BMW helmet (very handy) and get him out ... let go of handlebars ... squeeze the release buttons ... bike is nicely balanced and holding line well ... speed steady ... no cars ... this should be easy ... got the helmet open ... glasses off ... piss off bee! ... glasses on ... slam shut helmet ... hands back to bars ---- oh, sheeite!

Thumbs of both gloves jammed in helmet!!! Gloves won't move even though I'm pulling like hell!! Wow, this will be interesting...can't quite press the release buttons with little fingers ... junction now 3.5 km away ... I know, I'll just pull one or both hands out of my gloves.... no, that doesn't work: "velcro is good stuff, won't come undone if you fall off!" I remember the salesman saying that. He was absolutely right, they're stuck fast, I'd have to tear my head off first. Well, next brilliant idea, what if I just touched the foot brake --- nooo, dumb idea!
That won't work, this airhead beemer has great engine braking and when I get to about 40 kph and can't balance the bike any longer and the dreaded BMW boxer wheel-wobble starts, which it will, I am going to have major tank slappers --- sheeeiite!! I'll be off on my bum so quick and still hanging onto my helmet so tightly they'll have to bury me in it!! Won't do the bike much good either!!!

Hell, I can see the junction up ahead about one and half k's away and I am really starting to get the wind up ... tense even ... certain parts are beginning to pucker ... if the lights change to red and that huge B-double (a double tractor trailer only seen in Australia - G) waiting at the lights is in the middle of the intersection when I get there, jeeesus, I'm going to be a hood ornament next to that bloody chrome bull dog!!

Must try and pull hands really hard ... can I make them any smaller ... 800 metres ... the left one is giving a little ... maybe the gloves are slipping on the sweat now pouring from every pore ... 600 metres yes, yes, that's it, they're wet with sweat .......

I am going to have to hit the footbrake in the next few seconds ... can't hit that @#$*&@ big truck at this speed, it might scratch his duco ...
Yes! yes! ripper! Got the left hand out ... now hit foot brake to cancel cruise, de-clutch and slow bike with foot brake ... steer for the shoulder ... slowing down ...slide foot... stop ... ease out clutch to stall bike ... side stand down...switch off bike with left hand, right hand still glued to helmet ... tintops going past must think I've got toothache ... fall off into grass ... lay there for 5 minutes till the shaking stops and the adrenalin rush dissipates... now release helmet with left hand and remove sweat soaked head. Breathe out ---- shizer! Was that ever close! I'll buy a Tatts ticket.

When I had recovered, I realised there were two observation here:

No. 1: It's not a good idea to open or shut your helmet when on the move.

and

No. 2: Did you know, "adrenalin" is brown!
__________________
"When in doubt, ride."
Cadd
2004 Nomad 1500, "Baggins"
CaddmannQ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 08:00 AM   #2
Bandit12
Flyin Low
 
Bandit12's Avatar
 
Name: Ray

Location:
  Quincy, CA

Motorcycle:
  97 Suzuki Bandit 12S

Join Date: May 2006

Posts: 1,775
Re: What Does This Signal Mean?



I couldn't reply for about 5 minutes after reading that cause I couldn't stop laughing; so hard I had tears in my eyes!



Ray
__________________
A Veteran is someone who once wrote a blank check to "The USA” for an amount of "up to and including my life." That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who don't understand it.
Bandit12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 12:13 PM   #3
dstevens58
Official Old Fart
 
dstevens58's Avatar
 
Name: Don

Location:
  Northeastern Ohio

Motorcycle:
  82 SilverWing 500GLI

Join Date: Apr 2005

Posts: 1,339
Send a message via ICQ to dstevens58 Send a message via AIM to dstevens58 Send a message via MSN to dstevens58 Send a message via Yahoo to dstevens58
Re: What Does This Signal Mean?

Sheesh, you were talking about this yesterday. Great story......
__________________
100 years from now, it won't matter what kind of car I drove, house I owned, or things I have......but what will matter are the values I pass down to my kids and grandchildren.My Blog
dstevens58 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-10-2006, 12:19 PM   #4
Law Dawg (ret)
Unashamed Christian Rider
 
Law Dawg (ret)'s Avatar
 
Name: Mark

Location:
  California

Motorcycle:
  Yes

Join Date: Nov 2004

Posts: 7,701
Re: What Does This Signal Mean?

It means you're screwed.
__________________
Matthew 7: 21-23
Law Dawg (ret) is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2006, 09:14 AM   #5
seanrock
Senior Member
 
seanrock's Avatar
 
Name: Mark

Location:
  Benicia, CA

Motorcycle:
  BMW R1150RT, Triumph Sprint ST

Join Date: Jan 2006

Posts: 270
Re: What Does This Signal Mean?

My sides ack. That was big time funny.
BTW what is a "tintops"
__________________
Mark
seanrock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2006, 09:17 AM   #6
CaddmannQ
Moto-nerd
 
CaddmannQ's Avatar
 
Name: Greg

Location:
  Clovis, CA

Motorcycle:
  Nomad 1500

Join Date: May 2006

Posts: 265
Re: What Does This Signal Mean?

Quote:
Originally Posted by seanrock
My sides ack. That was big time funny.
BTW what is a "tintops"
A cage.
__________________
"When in doubt, ride."
Cadd
2004 Nomad 1500, "Baggins"
CaddmannQ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-12-2006, 05:17 PM   #7
redzdvl
chrome makes ya go faster
 
redzdvl's Avatar
 
Name: Marc

Location:
  Spotsylvania, VA

Motorcycle:
  2001 Suzuki Intruder Volusia Black/White "Skunk"

Join Date: Mar 2006

Posts: 1,160
Re: What Does This Signal Mean?



I laughed, I cried, I spewed adrenalin!

That was good!

__________________
"Some People R Like Slinky's- Basically Useless, But Still Bring A Smile 2 Your Face When U Push Them Down A Flight Of Stairs"
redzdvl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2006, 01:52 PM   #8
exwingnut
Super Member
 
Name: .

Location:
  .

Motorcycle:
  .

Join Date: Dec 2004

Posts: 2,061
Re: What Does This Signal Mean?

This MUST be why the instructions that came with the helmet say NOT TO DO THIS...I know; men and instructions, directions, whatever.
exwingnut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2006, 04:31 PM   #9
Tigerboy1
Junior Member
 
Tigerboy1's Avatar
 
Name: Byron

Location:
  Sacramento

Motorcycle:
  2006 Triumph Tiger, 2007 Harley Heritage Softail

Join Date: Jul 2006

Posts: 22
Re: What Does This Signal Mean?

huh? Instructions? I flunked sandbox, and now you expect me to read?? What is this world coming too? Next, you will want me to walk, talk, and chew gum all at the same time. I might need airbags for that one
Tigerboy1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-18-2006, 05:04 PM   #10
Ally House
Playing the low notes 2
 
Ally House's Avatar
 
Name: Ally

Location:
  Eugene, OR

Motorcycle:
  FZ1

Join Date: Feb 2006

Posts: 3,501
Re: What Does This Signal Mean?

My, oh my!
__________________
'Those who sacrifice liberty for safety deserve neither'
Benj. Franklin
Ally House is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Pashnit page mods... Tobin Seat & LED Turn Signal Mod wctkd1 Mods, Gadgets & Gear 10 03-08-2006 01:32 PM
Aftermarket Signal Lights halfwing Mods, Gadgets & Gear 1 12-10-2004 10:22 AM


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:05 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© Pashnit.com - All rights reserved
no new posts