Happy Fathers Day.

[Papa-Ken]

Being that today is Fathers day I would like to celebrate by wishing all Fathers a Happy and Glorious Fathers Day. I am blessed with four children that my Janey gave birth to several years ago. For those of you old enough to remember the Charlie Chan movies..........he would describe his sons by number........such as number one son etc. And my number one son is Mitchell born Down Syndrome 55 years ago this July 18th. We were told he wouldn't live to reach the ripe old age of one and we shouldn't bring him home as he was just a vegetable unable to recognize or reciprocate love. He is the strength of our family binding it together with his love. Janey brought him home after about 6 weeks from a nursing home that kept him in bed clean and sterile, fed and diapers changed but seldom if ever, held and loved. Can you imagine never being held and loved? I can and it is a terrible thought. My number two son Matthew has been a challenge for me most of his 53 years trying in so many ways to be like his father instead of himself. He has given me so much love and also pain at times but I am thrilled that all my children have a christian belief that sustains them. My wife Janey was the glue that bonded our family all these years and now I must pick up the pace and keep us strong and together. Mitchell is the one that keeps us grounded with his abundance of love. Matthew has inundated me with tomato plants for fathers day and I can't wait for them to produce the fruit. My two daughters are both talented with the written word and I would like to share with you what they wrote for me on two previous Fathers day celebrations. I have framed them both and have them hanging next to my desk in my office...........Ken

The Structure of My Father

Each person is like a tree, that when you cut it, there’s an imprint of years. Such is man. We carry lines of life represented by wrinkles, scars, smile creases and wounds of the soul. So many experiences place those lines there and without them we would be void of life.

The soul of your mother, the structure of your father, your lines began long ago. Childhood, youth and the entry of manhood would bring many more.

The warmth of a September afternoon set forth a new path for your life that would offer promise, love and even some pain. July 1957, May 1959, February 1966 and August 1969, -different months, different years, different souls that enter your life and imprinted new lines.

The lines you carry are better described as Simple Treasures. You began as a boy loved by many then continued as a man that gives his love to many.

In your 69 years of life you have carried many titles; son, brother, husband, friend, but none as important or impressive as Father. Many men and sometimes boys enter the arena of Fatherhood with a simple act; but less earns the designation of a true Father. Dedicated, committed, friend and unbounded love are a few defining words of a “Father.” These words and more I use to describe my father, for he is a man whose life has been imprinted with an abundance of simple treasures.

All My Love,
Alta Dianalyn-Kinder Ljung
Fathers Day 2000


To My Father on Father's Day 2003

Dad, as I was growing up, you always made my world feel safe.

The deep calm of your voice steadied me... and the strong circle of your arms shielded me.

I never felt vulnerable or afraid, because to me, you seemed unshakable.

As I got older, though, it dawned on me that the world you faced everyday was a lot bigger and scarier than the one you created for me.

And I wondered, sometimes, if you felt like relying on someone else's strength for a change....

Now that I'm an adult and living on the outside of your safety net, I finally understand what sacrifices you made to make sure "my world" felt all right all the time.

Growing up in the sanctuary of your love is something I will always cherish and a memory I could never forget.

Now, more than ever, I appreciate you for that.
I love you Dad........Tana

[Owner of Harriet]

Thanks for sharing Ken --

Happy Fathers Day to all

Two of our children keep in regular contact -- the 3rd one we haven't heard from in over a year and half ---- I have tried contacting - but no reply -- makes me very sad

[JBrack]

My oldest son just starting working at the same agency as me in Law Enforcement. My youngest just graduated high school and is off to college soon. My wife and I are almost an empty nest. Hmmmm what to do?

[Zippo95]

Happy fathers day to everyone out there. Thanks for sharing this Papa-Ken.

[CRASH]

Thanks Ken, Happy Fathers Day to you as well.

Originally Posted by JBrack

My oldest son just starting working at the same agency as me in Law Enforcement. My youngest just graduated high school and is off to college soon. My wife and I are almost an empty nest. Hmmmm what to do?

We are similar, my daughter is off to grad school in So Cal this fall, son off to Cal Poly ... only difference is, I know what to do I bet you do too.

[WIRE]

Ken, your experiences are an enduring source of inspiration for me, as my wife Annette and I look ahead to the challenges we and our adult sons (who both have autism) will meet in the future. The general human experience is that, although our children do not entirely define us, they do influence us at least as much as we influence them, and your willingness to write so movingly about your life provides optimism and hope for me. Thank you.








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[sglide4me]

Thanks Ken for you, and your daughters words making all us dads feel special.

[Papa-Ken]

Originally Posted by WIRE

Ken, your experiences are an enduring source of inspiration for me, as my wife Annette and I look ahead to the challenges we and our adult sons (who both have autism) will meet in the future. The general human experience is that, although our children do not entirely define us, they do influence us at least as much as we influence them, and your willingness to write so movingly about your life provides optimism and hope for me. Thank you.



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Kurt, I tried sending a link via PM but I don't think you can open it, so I am going to print it here. It might be of interest to you and your wife....Ken


By Jeff Ackerman
Editor / Publisher of Nevada Union in Nevada City

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

It will be more than a two-tissue day when my son Luke graduates from Nevada Union High School in June.

Amid the blue-gowned graduates, Luke will probably be the one by himself, perhaps looking down at the ground, or maybe holding his ears as the sounds of the celebration assault his hypersensitive senses.

He may even be talking to himself, since he seems to prefer his own company best, unless there is someone more interesting nearby. He has survived quite nicely inside his own cocoon, in itself a remarkable feat given the number of students who jam NU's hallways.

Luke is autistic and he is not alone. For whatever reason, the number of autistic children is growing in America, which is why it now has its own national awareness month in April. Luke is what they refer to as “high functioning” autistic and suffers from Asperger's Syndrome. We've counted ourselves fortunate that Luke is high on the so-called autism scale. The worst cases include children who cannot be hugged, or held and I couldn't imagine what that would have been like over Luke's 18 years. He loves to be hugged and even now ... as he shaves each day and prepares to leave high school ... holds my hand when we go for walks.

The other day I dropped him off in front of the high school and he stopped, turned back to the car and shouted, “Love you, dad!” He didn't care what the other kids nearby thought of that.

If that's a symptom of autism, we need to spread it around a bit.

Luke has many of the classic autism traits. He has a tough time carrying on a two-way conversation because he is mostly interested in what he has to say ... unless ... on those rare occasions ... you have something interesting to offer, or share his love for art, or history, or animation, or a number of other things he has obsessed over these past 18 years. Luke isn't satisfied to simply learn. When he sinks his teeth into a subject he chews it until there is nothing left and then he stores it away where he can get at it any time he wants.

Want to know John Lennon's birthdate? Ask Luke.

Don't know the capital of Egypt? Luke does.

Ever wonder how many rivets it took to build the Titanic? Luke's your guy.

Get him on your list of “shout-outs” on the “Cash Cab” television show, or make sure you have his phone number if you ever get on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.”

He has an ability, or gift, to not only remember small details, but recall them in an instant. His mind is like a tape recorder and he can rewind very quickly.

I suppose he is the classic nerd, which is OK in this high-tech world that is ruled by nerds very similar to Luke.

“Date the nerds,” I told my daughter as she headed off to college a couple of years ago.

The downsides have mostly been on my end, not Luke's. We didn't get to see him off for the various proms, and it would have been great to share that rite of passage with my son. He's never been on a date and doesn't seem too anxious to start anytime soon. He has actually calculated the risks of driving and concluded that it is simply, “too dangerous.”

And I never got to watch my son play ball, something I'd taken for granted, since sports were always a good part of my life. No Little League. No yelling at the umpire, or coaching his team.

Instead, we spent many Saturdays at bookstores and libraries as Luke ran from row to row, showering his young mind with as much as it could tolerate before literally short-circuiting (we could almost see smoke) and it was time to go home.

Routines are central to an autistic life. Break Luke's routine and he has a tough time getting back on track. If you've ever seen the film “Rain Man,” you have a sense for what I'm talking about.

His bad days can be traced to a break in routine ... maybe a substitute teacher, or disruption in the class schedule. There is a sense of order that must be maintained, from the food he'll eat to the books he collects (there cannot be a single page that is creased) to the time of day he brushes his teeth (the same exact strokes each and every time).

Patience is mandatory for any parent with an autistic child. My wife was blessed with patience, and she is the reason Luke will graduate in June with the rest of his class.

I don't recall one single evening when she has not read with Luke, or worked with him on his homework, quietly trying to explain to him why it needed to be done on those many evenings when he questioned the need.

“Pigs will never rule the world!” he'd scream, while my wife calmly turned the pages to Animal Farm, waiting for him to refocus.

The autistic world is black and white and brutally honest. If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask Luke a question.

He got into trouble in middle school when a girl came up to him and asked, “How do I look?”

Someone had put the young girl up to it, knowing that Luke wouldn't lie.

“Well,” he told her. “I think you could use some Liposuction.”

Later that day I was sitting in the principal's office, where Luke got sent for making the young girl cry.

“Why did you tell her that?” I asked.

“She asked,” he answered.

There was really nothing more to say.

After awhile you understand why Luke would prefer to be alone. Autistic people have a tough time fitting into the various social circles, because they don't know how to play head games, or read people (facial expressions, etc.). Office politics are impossible, so our hope is that Luke will find his niche in some computer-based job that will allow him to work from home.

There are also programs available to help young men and women like Luke adapt in the workplace, teaching them how to use public transportation and the basics of communication (even if you don't care what the other person is saying, pretend that you do).

Over time I've wondered if perhaps the autistic world isn't actually better and more advanced than the so-called “normal” world the rest of us live in. I took Luke to see Kim Peek down in Roseville a few years ago. The movie “Rain Man” was based on Peek's life and he was a guest of PRIDE Industries, an organization that helps employ the disabled.

Peek showed the banquet crowd a glimpse of the human mind's capacity to store and retrieve huge amounts of information. When he travels with his father, Peek will generally occupy his time in the hotel or motel room by reading the phone book ... from cover to cover. If he's been to your town, he likely knows your phone number.

“My family lives in Altoona, Pennsylvania,” one woman said, giving Peek their names.

“There are four people with that same name in the phone book there, which street do they live on?” Peek answered.

What blew my mind was not his ability to memorize hundreds of thousands of phone numbers, but to retrieve them within seconds, or as fast as a computer.

Maybe we are all capable of that, but suffer some ailment of our own that blocks our ability to use the better parts of our brain. Perhaps we are the ones who are disabled.

One thing is certain and that is the number of children diagnosed with autism today is skyrocketing, up almost 600 percent since Luke was diagnosed 18 years ago, according to the federal Centers for Disease Control. It reports now that a staggering one in every seven boys is being diagnosed with some form of autism.

While some of that growth can be attributed to more awareness and proper diagnosis (they used to simply say these children were retarded), nobody really knows why the numbers are exploding, or why it affects many more boys than girls.

In a recent press release titled, “Are There Any New Ideas About Autism,” Dr.

Shauna Young (who has been working with autistic patients and their families for five years) expresses frustration that, “despite many years and countless millions of dollars in public contributions ... the international incidences of autism actually continue to steadily rise with no apparent abatement.”

She attributes much of the increase to, “improper food and nutritional choices and other avoidable environmental factors.”

Natural science, she says, is being trumped by the multi-billion-dollar pharmaceutical engine. “Using food-based therapies can also improve, or reverse, a high percentage of existing cases,” she argues.

My wife agrees. We discovered flaxseed oil long ago, and my son no longer uses cow's-milk products (goat's milk for him).

And while we can't provide any scientific evidence, we can tell you as parents who know their children that Luke has improved dramatically over the years.

Our son — whose kindergarten teacher called “retarded” because he wouldn't sit in a circle, or stop reading when she blew her whistle — is graduating from high school in a couple of months, and we will likely be the ones up in the stands fighting over a box of tissues.