The Road to the Middle of Nowhere - Riding Montana !!

The northern Great Plains are an acquirred taste that leave little room for apathy. Travelers accustom to metropolitan eye-candy and majestic moutain vistas just flat cannot handle the endless panorama of sky, the unceasing wind and above all the brittle isolation a hundred miles of unpopulated country has on the uninitiated. Many a visitor droops into a stuporous funk before they make it even halfway across and simply nail the throttle wide open in an attempt to escape the unrelenting sky.


MT Alt Hwy 200, between Boomfield and Richy

Which is just the way we like it. You won't find any trophy homes out here on the northern fringe, nor the accompanying property values and associated taxes. What you will find is a people and land rooted in genuine values, and communities established where kids and dogs roam free from predatory drug dealers or obtuse regulation.

The following photographs and descriptions detail one of the trips I took as an ogranic farm inspector. During the growing season I'm on the road nearly every week, traveling across Montana, North and South Dakota and Wyoming. I interview farmers and inspect their crops to provide "independant third-party verification" of compliance with National Organic Program and work for a variety of certification bodies across the upper midwest.


Monday morning, 6:30 AM. The sun has just cleared the horizon and I'm packed and ready to go. These trips are so common anymore that the softbags are rarely unpacked other than to replenish the coffee and stuff in some clean laundry. The left saddlebag contains clothes, the right raingear, coffee supplies, extra leathers and a couple books for those long lonely nights on the road. A laptop computer rides on the tail and the tankbag carries the paperwork.


This week's trip takes me from our home in Lambert, MT (in the photo above) to Big Sandy, a distance of 404 miles one way, and a little closer to the house than my average trip. Montana Highway 200 is the primary route. Highway 200 is like the redheaded stepsister of Highway 2 (the Hi-Line) and I-94. It's a sinuous little beauty that bisects the state from east to west in a most attractive fashion. The Tourist Commision and Department of Transportation keep Hwy 200 tucked away in the closet when company comes because it so outshines their pet projects mentioned above.


The first community we encounter nine miles west from Lambert is Enid. In the early 1900's Enid, MT had all the bells and whistles any upstart town in the west could hope for; two grain elevators, a train depot, banks, stores and 1,100 residients.


These days the population is somewhat reduced, to one. Norweigen bachlor 93 year-old Alan Grow is the sole resident living in this hillbilly lash-up parked in front of his family's abandon general store. He shares this abode w/ a halfdozen cats, and fair-sized flock of pheasants to which he feeds grain screenings daily, ostensibly to feed his cats.


And the last two buildings in Enid proper, the abandon school and the bank vault left over after the bank burned down in the 1930's.


25 miles further west brings you to Richy. Here is a community built w/ a little more pride and foresight than your average 1900's shanty town that sprang up along the new railroad of that era. They used bricks instead of lumber and tarpaper and laid the streets in a traditional grid rather than follow the contours of the land. Fat lot of good it did them, though, as Richy faces the same population decline and brain-drain as every other little town scattered across the American midwest.


This is one of those "oh my God" photo's taken during the trip. The day before I had paid $2.31/gal for gas in Glendive. Then in Circle (50 miles west of Lambert) I found this. Now, three weeks later, I only wish I could find it that cheap.


~20 miles west of Circle the landscape transitions from farmland to prairie. Can you spot why this scene is noteworthy? I mean other than the herd of antelope way off in the distance. How about this; the photo was taken on August 23, 2005 and the grass is still green! A typical year sees the native grass stands dormant and brown by the end of June, so what’s up w/ that? 14”of rain from the 2nd week of May through the end of July will do it. Our annual average is 12”.


Another 20 or so miles west of Circle another transition begins, that from prairies to badlands. This marks another transition as well, as the road meanders through the hills and gullies in a much more sinuous fashion.


This bar is noteworthy as a local institution in Jordan Montana (90 miles west of Lambert) because Betty, the owner, is remarkable as a bartender for never forgetting a drink. I only make it in there once or twice a year and w/out fail she has my favorite brand opened and on the bar before I’ve taken a seat.

Jordan gained a certain notoriety a few years back w/ some Johnny-come-lately residents (aka Freemen) decided to take on the ATF, IRS and several other federal agencies in a multi-day armed standoff. They lost of course, but the intervening influx of national news organizations and LEO’s resulted in a mini economic boom of sorts for this remote community that has some residents wondering if they shouldn’t stage another quasi-coupe just to jump-start their economy once again.


Posting these signs at the head of gravel roads meeting the highway is a local tradition established by the 4H kids throughout the region. It is kind of sobering when you look at the distances listed and remember it is all gravel roads from here to there.


This sod-roofed cabin is alledged to be a remnant of the oldest ranch in Montana, established shortly after the Civil War by Texas cattlemen. It's located about 25 miles west of Winnet right along the highway.


I had just motored through a paticularly satisfying set of curves through pine-scented badlands when I popped over a hill and saw this. I hadn't been west on Hwy 200 since the previous September and the building certainly hadn't existed then. I draw a little closer and realize it’s a fancy-smancy tourist oriented rest stop. Oh my God. What’s this world coming to? Jordan is 50-odd miles behind us, Lewistown 90 or more miles ahead.



Can you believe it? The facility comes complete w/ eight individual fully automatic restrooms (4 men, 4 women).


And a doggy-doo area!


Doggy-doo area? For crying out loud, this is Montana. We have fifty bazillion acres of wide open space, especially created by the Almighty just for doggies to doo in. And they have to spend tax-payer dollars on this crap? (pun intended)

What’s next? Winnebago friendly highways? Regularly maintained secondary roads? Increased LEO and EMS service? Trash pick-up and streetlights. (Cue music) “It’s the end of the world as we know it…” It might be time to move to Oz.


While I'm lamenting this abomination of tax-payer dollars a friendly couple from Washington state comes by to ask for directions from one of the "locals".


Winnet, MT. Not much more than a wide spot in the road 50 miles west of Jordan, but w/ one crucial aspect; w/ Jordan 50 miles behind and Lewistown 100+ ahead Winnet could well be your hidey-hole for the night in less than stellar conditions. To their credit the community of Winnet can provide food (groceries or cafe) fuel (albeit 85.5 octane and half again the price) and lodging. Oh, and booze to boot.


Another twenty or so miles west puts you at the junction of Highways 87 and 200. Billings is a 100 miles south, Malta about the same north, and Lewistown is another 30 or 40 miles ahead. This paticular photo brings to mind a song I once heard...something about purple mountains majesty or' amber waves of grain? Those would be a westward view of the Moccasin Mtns from east. The following picture is taken at the same spot looking back to the east.



13:00 hours, boy these photo opportunities really cut into the travel time. I'm normally this far down the road by 11:00. Better stop for a caffeine fix in the form of my personal favorite, a double-shot in the dark (two shots of espresso in a 12 oz cup, topped off w/ regular coffee and just enough half & half to change the color) and a sandwich. Outstanding. Stop by Crabtree Coffee in Lewistown and say hi to Cindy, she’s a real cute-heart and makes a killer roast-beast sandwich. Followed by a view of downtown Lewistown from the west. Real antiques down there, nearly every building erected before the turn of the century.



Eddie's Corner, located at the corners of Hwy's 191 and 200. Eddie’s Corner has been a local landmark for more than 50 years. The establishment includes the obligatory bar and casino, mediocre food, half a dozen tiny motel rooms and the cheapest gas for 20 miles in any direction (i.e. the only gas for twenty miles in any direction).


A good friend of mine lives in Hobson and since we only get to visit once or twice a year I felt obligated to stop and share a beer w/ him at the locally famous Black Bull Saloon. This place is a real gem. Stuck out in the middle of nowhere in an old bank building they manage to serve genuine 5-star cusine complete w/ a substancial wine list and well above average wait staff. Amazing really what you can find out in the boonies.


The adjoining bar is beautifully done in native knotty pine w/ the usuall Montana dead animal selction hanging from the walls, w/ one minor exception; the company namesake. Loren and I sat and visited for a couple of hours before I had to get back on the road. I only had two beers (two wheels=two drinks) but this could've been too many further down the road.


At Stanford, MT I turned north on Hwy 80 and headed towards Fort Benton. I'd gone less than 20 miles and was just dropping down off the flats and into the Missouri River breaks, where the roads starts to get a few nice curves, and was having some fun! Then this sign suddenly appears.


I slowed to 60 mph because this is Montana and you nevr know what to expect. Sometimes it's a rough patching job like this.


Other times it can be places where the heavily laden grain trucks have created ruts in the pavement.


You can even encounter large pot holes that cover the entire lane.


What I didn't expect was a total absense of pavement altogether. Like I said we'd slowed 'er down to about 60 mph when the pavement just ended right in the middle of a blind corner (corner entry visible in the top-middle of photo). I totally let off the gas and braked as much as I dared.

The pavement began again and I grabbed more brake, seriously slowing down, when it ended yet again. The front wheel skidded 10 or 15 feet, I let off the brakes and squirted a few twinkies out my backside, then recovered enough to ride it out. That one was literally too close for comfort.

I learned later that this section of road is built on the Missouri River's historic water course and is geologically unstable. The repairs have been constant for the last 20 or 30 years and sometime involve the both lanes sluffing off the side of the hill following a rain event.


The next community north is Square Butte, located at the base of this formation. (the picture is taken ~20 miles to the north of town). The late C.M. Russell liked to hang out in this region and many of the landmarks featured in his paintings can be seen around the area. If you like western art, the CM Russel Gallery and museum in Great Falls, MT (~2.5 hours south and west of Sq. Butte) are a must-see. They have an excellent Russell collection, in addition to many other talented western artist.


Fort Benton was once the terminus for all commercial Missouri River traffic west. And as such it has quite a lot of historic paraphenalia. The teepees across the river can be rented for a paltry sum and include hot/cold running water and electicity. If you're in to more comfortable lodgings the Union Hotel (sorry no picture), est. 1832 is very nice and just to the left of the frame of hits photograph.


This is an interesting little story.

Good ol’ shep. The plaque tells one story, a couple hundred yards west the museum tells quite another. To the effect that the dog actually belonged to the stationmaster and had never seen a sheep, let along a shepherd. Who do you believe? The city fathers of course, it has to be true if they spent all that money on a statue, doesn’t it?


Dinner that night at Pep’s Bar, Big Sandy MT. An original “New Brunswick” bar-back. Transported up the Missouri River in 1860, then 50 miles overland to Big Sandy. The lady running the place told me she bought the bar several years ago, and then sold ½ of the metal ceiling tiles to some tourist from California. Made enough money to pay for the bar. Sweet. Notice the mahogany bar and white maple scrollwork.

And thus ends my trip to Big Sandy. I spent three days there inspecting farms, got rained on every day, stuck in the mud once and blown clean off the road by a 50 mph cross-wind a couple of times. My return trip followed the exact same route w/ the exception of an over-nighter in Hobson and way more than two beers w/ my buddy Loren.

The end (isn't it great to live in Montana?)